What Can I Say?
by phoenixfelicis07
Summary: What would have happened to Severus and Lily's relationship if Sev had listened to Lily's advice about his friends and apologized? Would they have been more than friends? Song-fic based on Carrie Underwood's "What can I say" featuring Sons of Sylvia.
1. Reconciliation

**Hey ppl! So I was listening to my iPod this weekend and of course, I was listening to country music. To be specific I was listening to Carrie Underwood. When this song came on, I had an epiphany: "I can make a song fic out of this!" So as soon as I got home I put the song on repeat and started outlining. I knew the general premise of the story I wanted to write, but I didn't know which ship to choose. Originally I was going to make this a make up one-shot between Ron and Hermione after they had an argument or he cheated with Lavender or something. But when I listened to the song for the 3,000th time, I realized I could take this in a different direction. Anyway, this takes place after the fallout in fifth year and both parties are regretting the lack of companionship between them. Severus decides to suck up his pride and apologize, forsaking his wanna-be-death-eater-friends. This is a non-canon, one-shot, song-fic. I don't care if you give me praise or criticism; just let me know what you think.**

**Disclaimer: This fic uses characters from JK Rowling's best selling Harry Potter book series. I do not own any of these characters. This song-fic uses lyrics from Carrie Underwood's song "What can I say" featuring Sons of Sylvia. (Be warned: I tweaked some of the lyrics a bit to better fit their situation or to fit the wizarding world in general). What happens in this fic never happened in canon. Sev and Lily never renewed their friendship or made up in any way. Lily has always been and will always be James' other half. I am just playing with an idea that popped into my head.**

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><p><strong>Chapter 1: Reconciliation<strong>

_**Severus's POV**_

Severus stood in the corridor after their N.E.W.T level potions class waiting for Lily to come out. She had stayed behind to talk to Professor Slughorn about something and he saw it as the perfect chance to catch her alone without embarrassing himself.

"Lily could I talk to you?" he asked as she appeared at the door of the classroom.

Lily looked at Severus with confusion, but Severus could see a tiny spark of hope in her beautiful emerald eyes.

"Sure Sev," she finally said.

Severus let out a breath he hadn't realized he had been holding. He had been so scared that Lily would simply walk away without hearing him out. It had been almost a year since they had their fallout by the whomping willow. _At least she is willing to listen now_ he thought. _And she called me Sev! I guess she doesn't think so badly of me that she would call me Severus or Snape or God forbid, _he shuddered,_ Snivelus._

Severus led Lily to an empty classroom up the corridor and opened the door for her. Again, she looked up at him with that curious expression before complying and entering the room.

As he closed the door behind him Lily muttered "muffliato," pointing her wand at the door, and asked, "What did you want to talk about Sev? We have Arithmancy next and we shouldn't be late for Professor Vector."

Severus took a deep breath and dove headfirst. "Lily… How did it come to this? I think about you all the time. Its no excuse but I wish that I never made you cry. The word slipped out, I never meant to say it, I'm so sorry. I couldn't find the words to say. But you should know, please believe me, I picked up my quill a thousand times and tried to send an owl. But it's been so long, it's never easy, it's like trying to spin the world the other way. What can I say?"

_**Lily's POV**_

Lily looked up at Severus from her seat on one of the desks for the longest time before getting up and coming to stand right in front of him. Lily looked into his black pleading eyes filled with sorrow. She had been waiting for him to come around. She had been waiting for him to see sense, and now the time had come when he had swallowed his pride and admitted he was wrong. Lily looked at her shoes. Now it was time for her to do the same.

Lily took a deep breath and plunged forward. "Piercing words, your eyes were red, I watched you turn and walk away. Empty heart filled with regret, I know we were both to blame. And I'm not sorry that it's over for the way we let it end. I said all I had to say in letters that I threw away." Looking up into his eyes again, Lily continued, "And you should know, please believe me, I picked up my quill a thousand times and tried to send an owl. But it's been so long, it's never easy, it's like trying to spin the world the other way. What can I say?"

As Lily looked into his eyes, she saw hope kindle and joy spark as he listened to her words. As she stared, she noticed a depth of emotion there that she had never seen before; he had always hid it from her. But he wasn't hiding it anymore. Lily could see how deeply Severus cared for her, not caring that she might not feel the same. He had put aside his pride and forsaken his Slytherin friends to _apologize_ to her (a muggle born Gryffindor mind you), not knowing if he would even be forgiven. What he didn't know is that she had always had feelings for him but never said anything fearing he wouldn't return her sentiments. It was the reason she had never accepted James' advances, along with him being an arrogant prat. She saw now however, that Severus did indeed return those same feelings she had harbored for years now.

He was speaking to her and she was only half hearing what he was saying while she was basking in her revelation, "I hate to think all you had of me are the memories I left you. Can we please patch the space between what was meant to be and the mess that it turned into?"

Lily didn't' answer. She was still staring in awe at the boy she had grown up with and developed secret feelings for.

Severus tried again, "Can I have my best friend back?"

Again, Lily was silent relishing the love in Severus' eyes. She was shaken out of her reverie when she saw disappointment taint the love in his eyes when she didn't answer and she watched as the hope there faded. His cheeks flushed and embarrassment started to make it's presence known as he realized he had completely exposed his emotions to her. It was then that she tuned in to what he was saying.

"I've said all I had to say. If you choose to walk away -"

Lily interrupted him by throwing her arms around his neck and crashing her lips to his, not thinking about what might happen afterword, just caught in the moment, doing the only thing she could think of when she realized the one she loved was about to walk away because she couldn't find the words to say. She wasn't going to let him escape her again. It had been torture the first time.

She pulled away when she realized that Severus hadn't responded to her kiss. She looked up at him wondering, _Did I read his emotions wrong? Did he really only want to salvage our friendship and nothing more?_ All her fears were forgotten as she looked into his eyes. He was looking down at her with wonder and indescribable joy.

Lily smiled shyly and said the only thing she could think of, "What can I say?"

With that, Severus pulled her in, planting a gentle kiss on her lips before pulling away, keeping their foreheads touching, and saying "Lils, I have always, and will forever more, love you. You captured my heart the day you flew off the swing set that day at the park. The way your hair whipped around your face and your smile…" his lips curved as he remembered the sight, "what can I say?"

Severus leaned down and kissed her again, this time more passionately. In the back of her mind Lily thought about what people might think of their absence from Arithmancy, but she pushed the thought away and wound her fingers through his thin hair. She had been waiting for Severus for nearly seven years and she wasn't about to ruin this moment because of what others would think. They would all find out soon enough, she wasn't planning on keeping their relationship a secret. They were in love, what could she say?

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><p><strong>AN: What did you think? Please review!**


	2. Nightmares

**Hey y'all! How ya doin'? Well, I know I said that this was going to be a one shot, but then I got to thinking about how I would continue with this story… You have but to thank The Mysterious E and Éclair Stones, as I do, for encouraging me to continue writing. As of now I will be writing this by ear and updating as often as possible, however, I am currently outlining and working on the plot for a multi-chapter Hunger Games / Harry Potter cross over. I know this chapter is a bit short, but that's what you get. I hope to have chapter 3 up within the next few days, but after that… I don't have any clue where this story may be going, I'm just writing it as I find inspiration. I will not be inserting the lyrics into future chapters, however I will be keeping the theme of "what can I say" by trying to fit some variation of the phrase into the chapter somewhere. Anywho, here is chapter 2! [that rhymed! :)]**

**Disclaimer: This fic uses characters from JK Rowling's best selling Harry Potter book series. I do not own any of these characters. This song-fic is based off of Carrie Underwood's song "What can I say" featuring Sons of Sylvia. What happens in this fic never happened in canon. Sev and Lily never renewed their friendship or made up in any way. Lily has always been and will always be James' other half. I am just playing with an idea that popped into my head.**  
><strong><em>Nightmares<em> references Chapter 28 of Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix: 'Snape's Worst Memory.'**

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><p><strong>Chapter 2: Nightmares<strong>

_**Severus's POV**_

_"LEAVE HIM ALONE!"_

_"I don't need help from filthy little Mudblood like her!"_

_Lily stared, her lips parted slightly in shock. Then she blinked once and said calmly, "Fine. I won't bother in the future. And I'd wash my pants if I were you, Snivellus."_

_I stared at her as she screamed something at Potter before marching away, but I didn't hear what she said. All I could think was how in the world I had let that spill out of my mouth! I wasn't paying attention as Potter yelled after her; all I could do was stare after her retreating figure._

_I had never before used that word to describe her! Why now?_

I was frustrated and my pride was wounded, _I answered myself. _I let my temper get the better of me. Damn! Why now?

_I was suddenly aware of Potter lowering my pants and my anger surged. I was not about to lose all of my dignity on the same day that I lost any chances I may have had with my best friend, maybe even ruining our friendship forever._

_One word may have ruined it all._

_As my anger mounted, I used it to channel my magic to summon my wand. Potter jumped back in surprise when my wand appeared in my hand and I sent a nonverbal stinging jinx at him. I released myself from my position hanging from my ankle with a nonverbal liberacorpus. I then picked up my bag and ran from the scene. I didn't give a damn who called me a coward for not finishing the duel Potter had instigated._

_I **had** to find Lily._

_What could I possibly say to make her believe that I hadn't meant it? What could I possibly say to amend the damage I had done? To close the rift that had been created between us?_

_I would have to apologize, but would she believe me? That's what friends do right? They are supposed to forgive and forget._

_My greatest fear was that I had finally crossed the line. Lily had been suffering for five years now under the pressure of her friends in Gryffindor to desert me because I am a "slimy Slytherin."_

_At this moment I saw the truth in their words. Now that I had said the word, I may as well be just another Slytherin to her. She had already complained that my friends from my year were all "want-to-be Death Eaters."_

_She probably wouldn't even let me talk to her. Right then, I resolved to sit outside the Gryffindor common room until she allowed me to explain and offer an apology. However, all I could do as of now was hope to Merlin that she would understand, and try to think of what to say._

_What could I say?_

Severus woke with a start.

Wide eyes took in his surroundings as his heart rate slowed. He was lying on his four-poster in his dormitory, the emerald curtains closed around him. His shirt was sticking to his chest and he could feel a cold sweat on his brow.

Severus slowly sat up and put his head in his hands. _It was a dream. It had only been a dream._

Severus sighed with relief as he remembered the events of the previous day. He had spent the day with Lily. They had made peace with each other and agreed to forget the incident in their fifth year. Once they had left the dungeons, they had walked through the halls together while everyone else was still in class, eventually taking refuge in another empty classroom so as to avoid getting caught – Lily still aspired to be Head Girl, after all. Furthermore, both had too much pride to walk into Arithmancy together, a half-hour late.

When it was time for lunch, they went down to the Great Hall and parted ways with no one the wiser. Severus had gone through the rest of the day slight smile touching his lips that only faded when he lay down to bed that night. The same thoughts that had been disturbing him the night before came back to him now: How was their relationship going to work? What would happen when others found out? Would people ask questions as to why they were now on speaking terms again? Would Lily be in danger? Would he?

Severus pushed the thoughts to the back of his mind as he got up from his bed to take a shower and get ready for the upcoming day. He would talk to Lily later about what they would say.

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><p><strong>AN: Thank you to The Mysterious E, RavenclawBabe, and Éclair Stones for reviewing my last chapter. Everyone else, follow their example :).**


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